I can’t take care of you anymore.

I feel like I need to sacrifice myself to take care of everyone,
I feel like I hold information that will make everything fall apart.
He makes me feel like your pain is my responsibility.

But I can’t take care of you anymore Curly.

It hurts, it’s a reminder of what happened,
and a reminder of your complacency….

I guess that’s the big question huh?
Where does my responsibility lie in all this?
Am I a bad person if I leave you behind?
If I left you alone with him after he’s caused both of us
so much pain?

No matter how much I flush out my insides with this stuff, I can never feel clean. We will never seek freedom by ignoring the pain that he has caused us.
In the back of my mind, the terror has been there this whole time. The memory, that dead pixel.
You chose to ignore it, and now it’s your problem too. I kept asking, why? Why did he do this to us? All this just for mouthwash? What is the price of our suffering?

There is no reason for why it happened. It just did. And it hurt. I could spend all the time in the world wracking my brain over it, but all that does is keep me from accepting that this is our reality. I don’t know if you’re able to comprehend this, but I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. This was going to hurt one way or another.